Our New Normal [s] » Our little family's realization, that there is no normal

Day 24: The Courage to NOT DO anything


Psalm 46:10 “Be still and know that I am GOD.”


One sure thing about this blasted disease Juvenile Dermato-myositis, JDM, is that it is unpredictable.

And up to date and up to a point, unknowable.

So what do we do when our hopes for improvement get dashed by familiar, scary, expectedly
unexpected symptoms?

Nothing. At least nothing different, nothing else.

We wait. Wait for the pediatric rheumatologist to call back (my wife has left messages unreturned for

days), we wait a few days to see if the symptoms were temporary and subside, we wait for a miracle.

We wait.

That’s tough for us parents wanting to provide a solution, to put an end to it!

It takes courage to hold your breath and hold on to hope. To trust and have faith. To be still and know….

And courage is a funny thing. It’s like a “negative” virtue. Not negative in the sense of being bad (it

is not), but in the sense that it cannot exist in the absence of its opposite. Courage cannot be in the

absence of fear.

We need fear for courage to make itself evident; without fear courage would not be needed; without

fear, it does not appear, it does not exist.

So here we are… Here I am, in fear. In fear that we may be back at square one. In fear of feeling forced

to go back to Shands Hospital again. In fear of the treatments and the sleepless nights and needles and

the pain…. And the fear.

In fear of the fear.

And yet, maybe, just maybe, this is all a bad movie playing in my mind and in my soul.

And that is why I am looking for the courage to do nothing, to be still and wait. In so doing, I ran into a

weird coincidence.

In the Psalm above (46:10) the word “still” is the Hebrew raphah. It means things like: to collapse, to

faint, to sink down, to be disheartened… I cannot be sure but the psalmist is almost saying, “trip forward

and collapse onto GOD’s lap, faint at His feet.”

But here is the coincidence, if the word raphah seems familiar, it should. In the book where I was

studying this, raphah is Hebrew word #07503 and it cross-references Hebrew word #07495, rapha’,

which comes from a verse in the Book of Exodus (15:26): “… I am the Lord who heals you.”

Or, “I am Jehova -rapha.” The Lord who heals you, or the Lord your healer, or the Lord who is healing, or

the Lord your cure.

To be still is to be healed… Almost.

Today, I am giving it a try.

Do nothing. Stay put. Wait. Be still.

You are my GOD who heals. I will wait on you, until I see the healing.

August 12, 2013 - 5:29 pm

Freedom Goguen Martinez - He did better about this than I did, yesterday! 🙂

August 12, 2013 - 8:43 pm

Aimee McCloskey - Hugs and prayers guys xxx

August 12, 2013 - 9:32 pm

Julia Goguen - Maybe that “still-ness” comes from falling into the realization that there is nothing left for us to do but wait. That strangely peaceful place where responsibility is given up because we have come to the end of our resources and must wait for God to move or all is lost and he will cease to be real to us. Because, He will, he will move, he will show up because He is Real, because he is sssssssso faithful, and because he is LOVE.

August 12, 2013 - 10:58 pm

Sarah Halladay - I can’t imagine having to go through all this! Your faith is going to be gigantic if it isn’t already! Prays for you all.

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